So one thing I have been
noticing a lot lately, both on DA but also in my daily life is this
strange phenomenon called "Entitlement". An understanding and mindset
that the world or other people owe an individual deference, favors, and
even in some cases a living.
Believe it or not these people really do exist!
I myself have had the burden of dealing with several individuals with
various forms of this illness in my own life time. I am sure you have
had this unpleasant misfortune of having a run in or two with these
sorts of sick and desperate people in your own lifetime and YOU MAY NOT
HAVE KNOWN IT!
More frightening still is the reality that in a
world filled with 4billion plus people in it its highly likely that you
might be close to one of these entitled individuals. A girlfriend
perhaps, a best friend, loved one, parent, brother, hell it could even
be you!!!
But Princess, you ask me, Princess how do I know if I am "Entitled" ?
Ask yourself the following questions.
Do I submit my art work to every group in DA and feel insulted when it is declined?
Do you feel personally insulted when you must wait in a line?
Do you trivialize the feelings of others to better justify your bad behavior?
Do you demand to be served chicken McNuggets at 1am or else you will turn into your "Super Saiyan form" ?
Do you babble self help nonsense and new age guru crap to explain your extreme lack of true empathy for your fellow man.
Do you utter excuses or accuse others more often than you take responsibility?
When you read this list do you deny that any of this could be about you?
If
you answered yes to any of these things you might suffer from chronic
THE WORLD DOESN'T OWE SHIT syndrome. This is a very serious disease
often punctuated by tears, break ups, loss of friends or loved ones who
truly care about you, developmental and emotional crippling, egomania,
DUI's and the inevitability of perhaps dying alone.
Princess, this sounds terrible, please tell me there's hope!
There is Bobby, these timeless tracks and cures include;
Taking responsibility for your own actions
Benny and the Jetts By Elton John
Taking your head out of your ass
Saturday Night Fever By The BeeGee's
Learning to shut the fuck up and listen once in a while
This question reminds me
uncomfortably of what is asked of you in job interviews. “What would you
say is your greatest weakness?” No one ever says the truth, it’s never
“Casual Sex” “Underage Thai Hookers” or “Coke” the social responsible
answer is always something totally boring and untrue. We are all guilty
of it “Well Steve, my weakness would have to be perfection.” “You know
Tanya my greatest strength would have to be my attention to detail.”
“I’m a real team player!” The
one thing in the world that find both amusing as equally as I find it
disgusting is insincerity. Life is too short to sign the social contract
and regurgitate that which is insincere to who you truly are. So my
offer is this to the class dynamic. If you want the cold, blunt and
honest truth I’m your girl.
Do
we know ourselves through some magic mirror we have placed inside the
cave of our conscious mind, a magic all knowing mirror which allows us
to see the breadth and width of a human soul, color coded and expounded
in easy to follow directions, or are we merely nothing more fantastic
than a sentient being which is constantly changing and in some part a
reflection of the time and places in which we live?
I
do not believe we can ever truly know ourselves, at least not in our
entirety. Who I am now is not who I was a year ago, nor ten years ago,
who I am today will not be the same person I will be in a month or a
year from now. One could argue that who we are can be summed up by our
likes, dislikes, passions and memories. Others could say that we define a
man by his actions, deeds and words. In fact several schools of
philosophical thought have been created upon this very divergent path to
identify the self, and yet here I am asked to define the whole of my
individuality in two hundred and fifty words or less.
To
put it simply, I am too private and too stubborn a being to submit so
easily or with much good grace who I am, or less importantly who I think
I am.
My
name is Kristie, which people always spell wrong, or decide to shorten
to Kris, which I hate, or call me by other variants of the same name
such as Kristina, Krystal, Kirstie and so forth. This has been a
constant source of irritation pretty much from the start, so I decided
to simply ask people to call me K. It’s easy to remember and easier to
spell, and most importantly it also won't leave me feeling insulted if
you mess it up, only highly amused.
I
define myself through music on most days, I am a musician, poet and
artist, and music defines my mood while art defines my outlook for the
day ahead or the moment captured in time. These are really the best
tools that I can give you when tasked to “Introduce myself”. Music,
poetry and art are neither verbose, nor truly florid, you take from them
what you will, your perception and interpretations are your own and can
only be defined by you.
We
judge everything every day of our lives, how I prefer to define myself,
as you can see, in text could be seen as avoidance to a simple
question, rather than supplying a set of tools to perceive the persona
that is me.
So
let us begin my introduction, I will give you following three different
examples of who I am today and this moment in time. They may not be my
life story but they will do for now.
The Who ; “Who are you”
“I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair”
I
love the wind, storms especially, late October or November is the best
time for windstorms and I enjoy them best when walking out in the
stinging rain, hair whipping around my face watching the world come
alive around me, pushed to and fro by the only proven invisible force.
That is when I feel most alive. I have been through Hurricanes, Tornados
and lost it all in a flood and yet still I find myself facing the wind
and breathing in the only thing which could humble the juggernaut that
is mankind. Mother nature, knowing that the old words are true “Man
belongs to the earth, earth does not belong to man.”
I
am opinionated and enjoy nothing more than a good old fashioned debate,
to be challenged, to have my mind swayed and expanded by the perception
of others or through experience itself. However I am not a passive
participant and as someone who self identifies as “insatiably curious”
please feel free to expect from me constant questions and frequent
thought exercises, simply for no other purpose than the fun of it.
The Marlon Brando smirk.
Another
important part of “Who I am” is how I react to things. I generally, as
first described above, am a private person. I do not speak very often in
person, I am an active listener and tend to very deep reflection,
which, coincidentally doesn’t always lend itself to being the most
outwardly socially available person in the world. however one of my few
saving graces is I find a lot of things funny. My reaction to most
things in life is either with a smirk or a scowl. In my own opinion
there is so much in this world to cry about it is much better to laugh.
I
am extremely sarcastic and also tend to have the inherited “celtic”
dark sense of humor from my primarily Scottish family. I oftentimes find
amusement in the ridiculous and the hypocritical examples in this world
only to later find myself lost to contemplating the more serious
ramifications of my observations.
Lastly a poem;
“Glory cracked like a flea.
The sun-leaved holy candlewoods
Drivelled down to one singeing tree
With a stub of black buds,”
From A Saint about to fall By Dylan Thomas
I
am a firm example and advocate for reinvention. Only through utter
annihilation of all my preconceived notions, no matter how habitual or
dogmatic my understanding of the world and my own role within it, i know
inevitably it all must change. If this life has taught me anything is
that you must change or life and circumstance will change everything for
you. A burnt field produces better crops once it has been tilled and
sown than a field that is always planted with the same seeds.
I
am inspired most by those whom transform themselves in a similar way.
Those whom have lost it all and have been reminded that we are more than
just our jobs, our cars, a piece of paper hung on a wall, we are more
than the easily defined and the socially acceptable. We are an enduring
spirit, much more than a single star in a black void, what we are is
infact endless opportunity existing in timeless space teeming with life
and expansion. I am, who are you?
So I log in this evening and receive a message that my littlemoonlit blog which I have had forever has been deleted for spam. So I am currently contesting this decision with blogger. Until such time as it is restored I will be posting here. I hope to see some redirected watchers find this if they are looking for either moonlitlady or littlemoonlit. Shine on
I myself have had the burden of dealing with several individuals with
various forms of this illness in my own life time. I am sure you have
had this unpleasant misfortune of having a run in or two with these
sorts of sick and desperate people in your own lifetime and YOU MAY NOT
HAVE KNOWN IT!
